Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
