Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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