You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
