just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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