how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
