Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
