If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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