Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
