hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
