A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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