real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just cut my nipple shaving
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
