So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
