Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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