shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize