giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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