I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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