You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
