okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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