I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
