he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
