Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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