We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
