this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize