I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
