wrigley field is MILF paradise
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
