So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize