just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
