aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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