kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
