I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
