3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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