but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
