I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
