My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
