Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
