ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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