Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
