Your tits are I can't wait for
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I wish there were birth control emojis
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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