Non-Jews are for practice
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
