she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
