So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
