im about as happy as oj after his trial
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
