At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
