SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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