the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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