if you like me you must not know who I am
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
