ya dads aren't the best wingmen
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
