Midget sex pt 2 tonight
It's Friday. Sex?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
