my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
