i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
