we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
