...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
