We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
i think im in europe. pls send help
Randomize
