I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
