I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
