Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
