i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
This baby is an asshole
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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