Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize